misc activites from a weekend earlier this month

It’s 7pm, I’m taking a walk outside. There’s this unnatural haze swallowing the sky, probably because of the wildfire in Buckeye. Which I recently learned is only an hour away from here. In the midst of that deadly furnance, why do I feel pulled there? Anywhere far, really, where I can lock myself in an ivory tower for 24 hours and be a creative, elusive, unreachable human being.

Later, I went to the gym. In the mirror, I notice I have a thigh gap. So 2016 of me. And why does it matter? But I notice and feel discomfort, as if this is a trap. Why do my legs position themselves in this way. Is this good or bad. Sexy? Vapid, vain, naive thoughts travel through brain like bad traffic. I didn’t finish my workout because some guy came in and it was just me and him and I got paranoid. I think he should not have done that. Exist in that space, I mean. I think he should have done that somewhere else.

On a misc. Sunday (a week or 2 back?), I was in Mesa. First thing in the morning: electrolysis. My electrolysis lady said she zapped 300+ hairs - this is compared to 200+ 2 weeks ago, and 100+ hairs 4 weeks ago. It’s fine, it’s so fine, it’s whatever. Who am I doing this for again? Myself, sure, but also, for you Dear Reader, so that if you were to encounter me in the “real world” (wherever that is), come so close to my face that you could kiss me (and you should), that you’d be able to touch my chin and not feel anything but the smooth texture of my skin.

Afterwards I met up with Maya and Joyce at Luke’s of Chicago. It’s basically your regular chicago gyro and italian beef place imported to Indian School Road. I got two pizza puffs, which in Chicago would be $5 and come with a side a fries (and if you’re lucky, a pop), but we’re not in Chicago, are we? Nevertheless, it tasted just as good.

One thing Maya mentioned that I found intriging was her ability to manipulate who appears in her dreams. Romantic interests, friends, family, could appear like a special in a TV show. I wonder if those people know they have been scheduled to make in appearance in her dream world. Do they call off of work? Additionally, is this an ability that is innate in all of us, or unique to Maya? I don’t recall attempting to transport someone to my dreams, at least not on purpose. Although if I text someone and fall asleep, they do tend to wander into my dreamworld. There was one guy I would dream about a lot, I never really talked to him, just thought he was alluring. But he appeared in my dreams so much I thought there was something wrong with me. I’d see him in passing and wonder if he knew that he was in my dreams… sometimes he’d look at me with an indiscernible look, and I was sure he knew, but I think that’s just my anxiety and my inability to read facial expressions (I think everyone is angry at me….).

Later we went to some thrift stores, first Goodwill across the street, then Buffalo Exchange. I found some nice clothes, my favorite was a flowy orange patterned midi dress, something that a quirky art teacher would wear, which is not my typically style but it’s actually for work. I’ve realized that I don’t have any work dresses (or skirts), I typically wear jeans and a sweater. But I’ll see women in the office walking with their dresses and they look so radiant and exuberant, and I want that extra glow, and I think it could help me loosen up a bit compared to the restrictiveness of denim. I have been feeling more antsy at the office, going on walks more. Possible side effects of the clothes, or the lack of sunlight, or, I dunno, the screensssss….

We stopped by this place, Art for Fun, because the sign said “Art Classes for Adults” which, being adult women, intriguied us. The owner explained that she taught classes in ceramics, mosiacs, and other art forms you can’t do at home. She’d been running the place for 20 years, and she seemed happy about that. All around were gorgeous pieces of shimmering art, glass and silk wrapped in a cacophony of color. The classes were a bit expensive, so not sure if we’ll go anytime soon. I couldn’t help but be a bit jealous, or is jealous the word? I don’t know, but it must be nice that she can make and teach art all day. That is something I’d like to emulate, being a creative for a living. I’m just not sure what that would look like.

After all of that, I went back to Mesa to meet up with Johnny for our monthly hang. We were there for the Mesa Amplified Music Festival, where many venues were hosting free shows with local bands and musicians. The evening coolness was perfect for strolling between the different stages, and my favorite act of the night was Ashridge, they were young and authentic, slightly nervous. I shook lead vocals hand which was terrifying but he seemed to appreciate the gesture. It was a friendly crowd, the people of Mesa quite liked my “big” hair and blue mini dress. I felt bad because I spent the night before wallowing in self-pity… well it wasn’t crazy I was just, ugh, it’s just the pre-period crash out that happens - is it just me?? Anyway, I felt bad because I had no reason to wallow, because as the people can attest to - I’m just a cool gal!

In the evening Kobe and my sister called, which made me very happy. Kobe was walking home from a party and grabbing a late night snack at Up Late on Delmar, which I believe replaced the now defunct Chicken Out (shame!), somewhere I will have to check out when I’m back in St. Louis. My sister relayed the events of her day, which included a stop at Zone Comics in Homewood (which has been open since I was a child, maybe longer, and luckily has not closed) with my brother. I was glad to hear he is getting outside, and apparently he made a new friend! Then I told my sister about my day and she balked when I said I had 2 pizza puffs. I think she’s just mad I didn’t share!