nothing important happens in Tucson! (just kidding)

What do I like about this desert? The people or the place? I had a nice day and felt a sudden sadness at the realization that I would one day leave this place, and the people. Is it the place or the people that I will miss the most? It was instantaneous - when I first drove through the endless brown (brown that would make a man from the pacific northwest cry in despair), surrounded by saguaros (suh-WAH-roh - say it right!), the towering mountains, the lightning quick lizards, when I first stared into the horizon’s cotton candy sunset splitting the sky purple, pink, orange, and blue, when I first felt the furnace blast of heat on a 110° day, even then, I felt something akin to love, as if, without even knowing, my heart had been longing my whole life for white hot heat instead of white snow, for sand instead of grass, yes, deep down I wanted heat in my lungs, on my tongue, on my skin, in my hair, here in the sand, I was born again.

And. yet. When the time comes, I will have to hop on Linkedin and apply for the big jobs far, far away, and be whisked away to bigger things than desert sands.

Today, I went to Tucson. It has become a habit to visit Tucson. During my first visit I picked up my pink bass guitar. The next time I went was a fated disaster: my tire blew out, and I became friends with Maya. The next next visit solidified my bonds with Paula, Joyce, and Phuong. Physically, there is nothing special about Tucson. It’s like Phoenix, but with less. But, I suspect there’s something in the air. Maybe it’s the liberal slant or the slightly cooler temps, but it always brings about micro-changes in my life after I visit. And so, I hoped today would bring about those same pleasant feelings.

The main purpose of today’s trip was to see Slow Crush, a shoegaze style band who were on tour with She’s Green and Spite House (Actually, I had tickets to see them in Phoenix last year, but I sold them last minute for reasons I can’t recall. I probably took a nap?). I designed an ambitious itinerary around the affair and recruited Joyce, Lanae, and Raul as minions for my scheme.

Raul arrived at my place around 9:00am, earlier than the 9:30ish time I expected, which was due to a simple miscommunication, which doesn’t seem like something that needs to be noted, which you would be right about, but later he explained that he was so worried about getting left, which, he contended, possibly stemed from a deeper fear of abandonment, and I wrote this down in my notebook, so I figured I should include it here, and just quickly clarify, no, I would not have left, I would have simply waited! Anyway, we were on the road to Tucson by 10:30am after picking up the rest of the group and getting gas. On the way there I saw a sign for an exit, “Jimmie Kerr Blvd,” and I wondered, “Who is Jimmie Kerr?” so I asked Raul to look him up, and he said he played for the Detroit Tigers, but post-trip I looked him up, and it turns out Jimmy Kerr is the Detroit Tigers player, and Jimmie Kerr is a deceased Arizona politician, so RIP to that guy. That exit was the only thing I really noted from the drive, which was like a same-y road that went on forever, and halfway through I wondered if we would ever arrive, but that feeling quickly dissapated, and I enjoyed the songs that played on the radio, the Spotify queue being a pleasant mix of indie rock, and J-Rock, and alternative rock, and all types of rock, mixed in with the occasional R&B or pop song. When I reached the local roads, I saw two men who appeared to be homeless shouting at each other, which I didn’t know how to interpret, so I did what any person would do and continued driving to the destination, our first stop: Eegee’s.

Eegee’s is a restaurant chain founded in Tucson that specializes in frozen ice treats called “eeges.” While we were there, Joyce struggled to pick a flavor. “I think last time I had the Piña Colada, or the mango, or the lemon,” she said, naming half the flavors. She settled on strawberry. I got a skinny berry (very good!). I can’t remember what Lanae got, so let’s just say she also got strawbery. Raul got a flavor mixed with Chamoy which I thought tasted very very odd. We all got the small size eegees which were still sort of big, and nobody finished. Afterwards we stopped at Redbird for lunch. They only had outside seating which was fine, except half of us had to sit in the sun which was quite hot, as you might expect. Luckily the waitress, who resembled Beabadoobee to an almost uncanny degree, found us a better spot.

We were supposed to go to the Univeristy of Arizona Poetry Center around 2:00pm but I was still eating my fries at a leisurely pace around 2:30. I was very much savoring the flavor, as I hadn’t eaten fries in about 6 weeks. There seemed to be a concern amongst the group on my choice of “just fries,” for lunch, but I felt (and still feel) that this is a suitable meal for an adult woman. What’s the phrase, #girldinner? Anyway, we made it to the poetry center about 15 minutes before closing, which was enough time for me to read a couple pages of two books I picked randomly from the shelves: Hyperglossia by Stacy Szymaszek and The Thorn Rosary by Eileen R. Tabios. I also read a few poems by bell hooks, but I found her work to be less than satisfactory; I think she’s a better essayist than a poet. Still, I found my brief time at the poetry center to be exactly what I needed: a moment of mediatation that refilled my creative cup. Also, parking was less of a struggle this time around. Last time I went to the poetry center, I parked so far away we had to walk for 20 minutes in the white hot sun, and - I don’t know why I did that?

Next we went to thrift store, a Goodwill downtown. It was a well stocked Goodwill and I came out with an unexpected haul. I got a lot of green and maroon and orange and gray which fit this grunge-y colorscheme I have in mind, if that makes sense at all. Outside the thrift store, a man played a wicked solo on an electric guitar. He had a cart with a bunch of guitars and looked a little dirty. I wondered aloud if he was homeless and Raul said he probably was, and I thought the image of a homeless man and dragging around a cart of guitars, performing day in day out was awfully depressing, although someone else could probably look at him and say hey, at least he’s doing what he loves.

The next stop was Cafe Luce, a pleasant coffee shop with a steampunk feel to it. I went in there planning to write but I ended up discussing with Lanae the entire lore of my blog, which is named Erika’s Husband, and who exactly is Erika’s Husband? I made up a story that Erika’s Husband is “Edwin Husband,” an older man from the Carribean with questionable morals and a lazy attitude. I’m not sure if this is the storyline I want to continue with to answer the question of “Erika’s Husband,” but it was a fun thought experiment. By the time I had explained the whole story it was time to go to the concert. Raul’s friend Jake arrived, a master’s student at University of Arizona who I observed to be easygoing and very I’m-just-happy-to-be-here! Together we went to the concert, which was at Hotel Congress, a quick walk from the coffee shop (yes, I planned this!).

The concert itself was great, one of those concerts that makes you think, “Wow, music is amazing!”. My favorite band that night was She’s Green, who sound exactly like they do on Spotify except better. The bassist had vibrant sound that added a lot of depth and gloom to this wet rain like shoegaze sound that I would say is unique to She’s Green, although obviously inspired by their shoegaze elders, you know, the My Bloody Valentine and what not. At some point the bassist, who resembled that guy from Twilight, took off his jacket, which I thought was a great decision because he had very nice biceps. Spite House, a band a had not listened to before, was an interesting addition to the lineup. They sounded much more punk than She’s Green and Slow Crush. But I loved their aggressive sound and energy on the stage, and it was nice contrast to the more dreamlike vibes of the other bands. Slow Crush, the main act, was last on stage and of course they were amazing. There were these 2 macho looking men on stage playing guitar, standing like bodyguards on either side of the lead singer/bassist who stood in the middle, a woman from Belgium with soft vocals that contrasted her rebellious appearance. Blue and purple lights streamed behind them in between clouds of smoke, which made the experience all the more immersive. I was so inspired by all the performances that afterwards that bought She’s Green baby tee!

We all stopped at Jaime’s Pizza Kitchen afterwards, which was so good, or maybe it’s just been a while since I had pizza. Then we departed with Jake and headed home. The drive back to Phoenix felt much faster than the drive to Tucson, maybe because of the lively energy in the car, in which we played “Truth or Dare,” but there were really only truths told, and, as to protect the integrity of the game and all participants involved, I will not elaborate on what was discussed and who-said-what, but just know, that very important tea was addressed, and if you wanted to know, you really should have been there, but maybe, you can join me on the next sort-of life changing trip to Tucson.

I was very tired by the end of it all, but happy with how everything went, because we hit almost every item on my itinerary, and I love it when plans just work out. All of this to say, that it is these moments that I will miss most when I do leave this desert.